Every once in a while, I remember this movie I saw on TV a few times when I was a kid, but I can never remember what it was called. LazyWeb, help! And while you’re at it, I’ve got another one.
Here’s what I can remember about the first movie:
* The main characters are police […]

Imagine you’re facing a wall that stretches forever off in either direction. We all know that the further parts of the wall look smaller than the closer parts. That’s called “perspective”. We tend to imagines lines of perspective aiming straight toward some distant point, but in fact they don’t.
Consider this image:

If the perspective lines aimed […]

I’m not one to spend a lot of time watching YouTube videos, but videos like this make me wonder whether I’m missing more than I realized. This is the first take of Weird Al and Donny Osmond in front of the green screen shooting the video. In the final video, you only saw a little […]

Rogers Cadenhead points out today that the title character of the TV series “House” bears obviously intentional similaries to Sherlock Holmes, thus the name “House”. And here I thought they’d called the show “House” because “Jackass” and “The Jerk” were already taken by movies. I can’t stand that show.

I won! In Bubble Wrap had a quick contest today to see who could send in the first iBW-themed haiku, the winner getting a copy of The Big Moo. Here’s my entry, which turned out to be first:
Sleep awakens my
floating world of ecstasy
bathed in Bubble Wrap
The “floating world”, or “ukiyo” in Japanese, refers to worldly […]

III
Here are lame, atrocious bills-
Bogus bills!
Of attempt at trickery, their stationery smells!
With a sneaky sneer of spite
How they seem almost alright!
To unlucky souls they say
“Here’s what you must pay, pay,
Send it soon.”
Cleptomaniacs appealing for the money of the crier,
It’s a bad, bad, bad extortion by a dull, unfeeling liar,
“Send by Western Union wire”,
Desperate measures they […]

Again, apologies to Edgar Allen Poe :-)
II.
Read the moldy water bills,
Grimy bills!
What a world of drippiness their damp content refills!
Dew on barmy head alights
How the drippings give me frights!
From the liquid-schmiquid drops,
And my plugged drain,
What a limpid puddle plops
‘Neath a turtle’s belly flops, while she floats
Through my brain!
Oh, from out the garden hose,
What a gush […]

(Apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)
I
Tear the envelopes, read the bills-
Stupid bills!
What a world of melancholy their advent instills!
Oh they stink, stink, stink,
In my icy grip of fright!
While the stars revolve, I think,
How the hell I’ll eat and drink
With my bank balance so light;
They are slime, slime, slime,
Those relentless billing grime,
With their total tabulation that so […]

Troubled mind
Axe to grind
Future defined
National pain
Hopeful refrain
Ethnic distain
Aryan mythology
Synaptic topology
Goodbye doxology
Political games
Global flames
Faceless names

One man’s junk
Is another man’s treasure.
I’ve laid out my junk,
So, what’s your pleasure?
I’ve got CDs
And videos.
You’ve got a new baby?
I’ve got baby clothes.
Here are some parts
From old computers,
And books on tape
For you commuters.
How ’bout a loveseat,
Or a kitchen chair?
A waffle iron,
Or some silverware?
This fish tank’s still
In top condition.
I just got tired
Of putting fish in.
Need ski […]