I won! In Bubble Wrap had a quick contest today to see who could send in the first iBW-themed haiku, the winner getting a copy of The Big Moo. Here’s my entry, which turned out to be first:
Sleep awakens my
floating world of ecstasy
bathed in Bubble Wrap
The “floating world”, or “ukiyo” in Japanese, refers to worldly […]

III
Here are lame, atrocious bills-
Bogus bills!
Of attempt at trickery, their stationery smells!
With a sneaky sneer of spite
How they seem almost alright!
To unlucky souls they say
“Here’s what you must pay, pay,
Send it soon.”
Cleptomaniacs appealing for the money of the crier,
It’s a bad, bad, bad extortion by a dull, unfeeling liar,
“Send by Western Union wire”,
Desperate measures they […]

Again, apologies to Edgar Allen Poe :-)
II.
Read the moldy water bills,
Grimy bills!
What a world of drippiness their damp content refills!
Dew on barmy head alights
How the drippings give me frights!
From the liquid-schmiquid drops,
And my plugged drain,
What a limpid puddle plops
‘Neath a turtle’s belly flops, while she floats
Through my brain!
Oh, from out the garden hose,
What a gush […]

(Apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)
I
Tear the envelopes, read the bills-
Stupid bills!
What a world of melancholy their advent instills!
Oh they stink, stink, stink,
In my icy grip of fright!
While the stars revolve, I think,
How the hell I’ll eat and drink
With my bank balance so light;
They are slime, slime, slime,
Those relentless billing grime,
With their total tabulation that so […]

Troubled mind
Axe to grind
Future defined
National pain
Hopeful refrain
Ethnic distain
Aryan mythology
Synaptic topology
Goodbye doxology
Political games
Global flames
Faceless names

One man’s junk
Is another man’s treasure.
I’ve laid out my junk,
So, what’s your pleasure?
I’ve got CDs
And videos.
You’ve got a new baby?
I’ve got baby clothes.
Here are some parts
From old computers,
And books on tape
For you commuters.
How ’bout a loveseat,
Or a kitchen chair?
A waffle iron,
Or some silverware?
This fish tank’s still
In top condition.
I just got tired
Of putting fish in.
Need ski […]

A private invitation
From someone I don’t know
Arrived in my in box today
I didn’t read it though.
Cuz I was busy checking out
Hot tips on penny stocks
I’d gotten from three strangers
Opportunity knocks!
I thought I’d spend the riches
That would soon come rolling in
On a logo for my company,
And Rolexes for my kin,
Down payments on a home or two
With […]

Looking after number one–
The more I work, the more gets done.
…the more I do, the more he asks–
I’ll add it to my list of tasks.
My list consists of four main parts:
With urgent tasks is where it starts–
Important first, and then less so.
Below is where non-urgents go.
Non-urgent, but important task?
It’s in the section next to last.
And […]

There once was a man named Antone,
Who, to write poems, was known.
Subscribe to my feed,
To my poems read,
And please keep it down when you groan.
Okay, so the first poem in Poeticalizationism doesn’t live up to the subtitle: “Do you believe in living beautifully?” My intention is to post new poems here nearly every day. With […]

What do you get when a programmer works at home with a small child? An homage to Slashdot, sung to the tune of the cartoon Caillou:
I’m just a karma whore
Each day I earn some more
Not quite sure what it’s for
Slashdot
So many things to write
All day and every night
My point of view’s right
On Slashdot
Defending downloaders
And guys […]