Trans fats can’t be as bad as people make them out to be, because everyone named Tran that I’ve ever known has been pretty skinny.

The news said today that the glaciers of Greenland are melting (Greenland may actually turn green!), and I wondered, is global warming going to destroy cancer cures in the Amazon, or uncover them in Greenland?
Seriously though, I’m sure we’re losing more life in the Amazon than we’re gaining in Greenland.

The electronic crystal ball has shown me two words: “prehistoric comedy”. I see a caveman. I see laughing crowds. I see Chicago. I see spandex jackets. The future becomes clear.
Rob Becker’s play Defending the Caveman, a comedy about how men and women struggle to relate, in playing in Chicago. This much you can learn without [...]

If “Web+1” is to overtake “Web 2.0″, it needs a snappy theme song. Here it is, based on Love Plus One by Haircut 100:
Web Plus One
by Haircut 10.0
I, I clicked off of the site
Without bookmarking, “goodbye!”
Where does it go from here?
Is it blogging and feeds I hear?
R R R R S S
A A A T [...]

When hobbits get athletes foot (which is common, since they always walk around barefoot), do they use LOTRimin?

(Apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)
I
Tear the envelopes, read the bills-
Stupid bills!
What a world of melancholy their advent instills!
Oh they stink, stink, stink,
In my icy grip of fright!
While the stars revolve, I think,
How the hell I’ll eat and drink
With my bank balance so light;
They are slime, slime, slime,
Those relentless billing grime,
With their total tabulation that so [...]

One man’s junk
Is another man’s treasure.
I’ve laid out my junk,
So, what’s your pleasure?
I’ve got CDs
And videos.
You’ve got a new baby?
I’ve got baby clothes.
Here are some parts
From old computers,
And books on tape
For you commuters.
How ’bout a loveseat,
Or a kitchen chair?
A waffle iron,
Or some silverware?
This fish tank’s still
In top condition.
I just got tired
Of putting fish in.
Need ski [...]

A private invitation
From someone I don’t know
Arrived in my in box today
I didn’t read it though.
Cuz I was busy checking out
Hot tips on penny stocks
I’d gotten from three strangers
Opportunity knocks!
I thought I’d spend the riches
That would soon come rolling in
On a logo for my company,
And Rolexes for my kin,
Down payments on a home or two
With [...]

Looking after number one–
The more I work, the more gets done.
…the more I do, the more he asks–
I’ll add it to my list of tasks.
My list consists of four main parts:
With urgent tasks is where it starts–
Important first, and then less so.
Below is where non-urgents go.
Non-urgent, but important task?
It’s in the section next to last.
And [...]

I was wondering the other day, why do we put catsup on hot dogs?