Here are lame, atrocious bills-
Bogus bills!
Of attempt at trickery, their stationery smells!
With a sneaky sneer of spite
How they seem almost alright!
To unlucky souls they say
"Here's what you must pay, pay,
Send it soon."
Cleptomaniacs appealing for the money of the crier,
It's a bad, bad, bad extortion by a dull, unfeeling liar,
"Send by Western Union wire",
Desperate measures they inspire,
Thus a remittance thy sever
From the poor sucker, who never
Bought a thing from the bald-faced goon.
Oh, the bills, bills, bills!
What a trial their theft instills
So unfair!
How they claim our cash and more!
With their hoaxes they implore
Us to borrow from our pals to pay our fare!
More, the errant bully took-
He was gleaning
E'en while cleaning
Out the duffers' pocket book.
Then, the thief discreetly leaves,
Coins a jangling,
He's done wrangling.
How the digger stinks, me grieves!
Oh, the stinking and the smelling and the danger of the bills-
Of the bills-
Of the bills, bills, bills, bills,
Bills, bills, bills-
Oh my anger and my rancor at the bills!