Here's a copy of an email I sent to Car Talk a little bit back:

If you are going to continue recommending the Dope Slap on a regular basis, it behooves you to offer a tutorial covering basic dope slapping techniques. For example:

The irritating dope slap is used to simply annoy the harmless dope. It is administered by delivering a gentle blow to the base of the skull in an upward motion that ruffles the hair, if any.

The offensive dope slap is useful to deliver a stronger message to the dope whose actions risk damage to property or significant waste of fuel. It is administered by delivering a slap to the forehead, and is generally considered less respectful than the irritating dope slap.

The punitive dope slap should be reserved for the dope whose actions risk life or limb, either of passengers in the vehicle or innocent bystanders, defined as persons or animals not driving Jettas or involved in political campaigning. It is administered by delivering a swift slap to the face, ideally followed by a stern and specific admonition.

The suicide dope slap should not be used under any circumstances. It is administered by delivering a punishing blow to the base of the skull, and is the single vehicle equivalent of road rage. Because the driver's visual cortex is located at the rear of the brain, a suicide dope slap delivered in a moving vehicle which results in a concussion may interfere with the visual acuity of the driver, risking not only the dope slapee's mental capacity, but also the dope slapper's life. If ever you should feel inclined to administer the suicide dope slap, you may rest assured that the proper course of action is instead to administer the punitive dope slap to yourself.

Antone (that's Antone with an "e")